


Go Home Kris, You're Drunk

by fir8008



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Awkward Sexual Situations, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 03:49:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1251667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fir8008/pseuds/fir8008
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris has a talent for attracting less than savory roommates. Sehun is fourth in a line of insufferable jerks Kris has roomed with. Sulay gets Kris drunk to see if that'll help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Go Home Kris, You're Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to AsianFanfics on May 27, 2013.

Kris thinks he has an ability to attract assholes.  


It’s his fourth year of university and his fourth year rooming with an insufferable shithead.  


His freshman year he lived in a trio. His roommates ended up being sexually attracted to each other so he had to sleep on the couch in the common room unless he wanted to overhear them doing the nasty. To this day he curses the names of Kim Jongdae and Kim Minseok.  


His sophomore year he was in a double. Initially, he thought they’d get along quite well. They were both Chinese and both there to study business. Little did he know Huang Zitao was a martial arts expert who liked to stay up until the wee hours of the morning practicing wushu. All year Kris barely slept because of Zitao’s grunting. His grades took a plunge because of his lack of beauty rest.  


His junior year his roommate, Park Chanyeol, liked playing with fire. Enough said.  


This year it appeared his roommate was just an antisocial little bitch.  


“It’s a nice day today, Sehun. Want to take a walk around the quad?”  


“Fuck yourself.”  


“I’ll take that as a no, then.”  


Kris tries to figure out how he attracts such subpar roommates. “How is it fair that you’ve had the same roommate, the same perfectly sane roommate, for three years and I get to play musical roommates with a bunch of turds?”  


Yixing sips his coffee. “You have no taste in men, that’s why.”  


“I do too have taste in men!” Kris scoffs.  


Yixing serenely raises one eyebrow. “Sure you do. That’s why you stalked a straight guy for three months last year.”  


“He was not straight! He was in the closet.”  


“Mm hm. Playing with Mr. Tumnus is the forest no doubt.”  


“Actually, I do have bad taste in men. That’s why I keep hanging out with you.”  


“Oh Ben-Ben, you’ll find your Prince Charming some day.”  


“Don’t call me that!”  


On the way back to his dorm Kris buys ice cream to give Sehun as a peace offering.  


“Hey Sehun, I bought you some ice cream.”  


“Shove it up your ass.”  


“That doesn’t sound very delicious…”  


Sehun rolls his eyes and turns away.  


“Well I’m going to eat this by myself then…”  


“Fat ass.”  


Kris bites back all of the things he wants to say. Sehun is a brat. He’s going to take his fat ass and his ice cream and visit Yixing.  


Luckily, Yixing’s roommate is like a calming manatee with a sweet smile and tender words of advice. Suho is like a guardian angel, or a mom who bakes cookies whenever her spidey senses tingle. Kris ends up bawling into the ice cream container. In the back of his mind he thinks he saw Yixing slip something alcoholic into his drink because Yixing knows tequila gets Kris talking like nothing else. Suho is a free therapist so it all works out.  


“I just try to be nice to him and he’s so _mean_!” Kris crams another spoonful of chocolate chip into his mouth. “He called me a fat ass! Suho, is my ass really that fat?”  


“More like _flat_ -ass…” Yixing mutters. Suho shoots him a dirty look before cooing something nice at Kris. Kris continues his weeping and shovels more ice cream into his mouth.  


“I told you tequila got him going.” Yixing says snarkily.  


“You’re evil.” Suho replies approvingly.  


“There’s something wrong with this ice cream!” Kris announces.  


“What’s wrong?” Suho asks.  


“It’s so salty!”  


“Well yeah… you keep crying into the carton. Saline, you know.”  


Kris sniffles. “I better cry the other way then.”  


Kris sleeps on Suho’s bed, using the shorter boy’s flat stomach as a pillow. He wakes up with a raging headache and is ten minutes late to his class. He writes ‘murder Zhang Yixing’ in his planner before discreetly rubbing BB cream onto his face in the back of the lecture hall.  


The bright sunlight is killing his eyes so he wears sunglasses all day, even indoors. He’s so blatantly hungover he’s surprised campus police hasn’t bitched him out for underage drinking. He staggers into the dining hall where he finds Yixing and Suho enjoying their lunch.  


“Good morning, sunshine.” Yixing cackles. “Did you know Suho has an imprint of your face on his abs? Want to see?”  


Kris grabs a carrot stick from Suho’s salad. “See this, Xing? I’m going to impale you with this.”  


“I’d prefer if you kept my lunch out of a homicide investigation.” Suho gently takes the carrot stick from Kris. “You should drink some water.”  


“I did! I drank so much I almost peed myself.”  


“Oh, Ben-Ben, you should know not to drink to excess.”  


“Call me that one more time…”  


“Ben-Ben~”  


Kris flips the table and tries to strangle Yixing, resulting in the three of them, Suho included, cleaning up the entire dining hall. Kris gets to scrape gum off the bottoms of tables. Goody.  


Kris returns to his own dorm only to find that Sehun is still being a shit.  


“I didn’t miss you.” Sehun informs Kris. “I was glad to have the room to myself.”  


Yixing calls Kris to go party. Even though Kris attempted to murder Yixing only a few hours before he goes. Anything seems better than breathing the same air as a walking-talking poo.  


So as Kris is drunkenly dancing on tables and ceremoniously vomiting into potted plants, Yixing and Suho try to figure out what he drank.  


“Well beer always makes Kris puke, so he definitely had beer. And gin always gets him dancing.” Yixing ticks off his fingers.  


"And tequila gets him emotional and talking.” Suho adds.  


“But Kris’s funniest response to alcohol is when he drinks vodka.”  


“What happens when Kris drinks vodka?”  


“He tries to fuck anything with a hole.” Yixing pauses. “Do you think we should give him some vodka and send him back to his room?”  


“How is raping Sehun going to solve anything?” Suho balks.  


Yixing rolls his eyes. “I go to dance class with Sehun. For one thing, he and Kris are both super gay and single. So there’s no harm there. I also kinda think Sehun wants Kris. 

Wanna try it?”  


“Why not?”  


Yixing and Suho struggle down the street, supporting a very drunk, very horny Kris. It doesn’t help that Yixing and Suho are significantly shorter than said horny drunk, and Kris keeps trying to stop and hump lampposts so their progress is slow. When they finally reach Kris’s door they have to search for his key.  


“Find it quickly,” Yixing grumbles. “Before he starts trying to violate the lock.”  


The door clicks open. Sehun looks up from his desk. “The fuck?”  


“Special delivery for Oh Sehun.” Yixing says cheerfully. “One drunk roommate, check. Have a nice evening, kids.”  


Yixing and Suho dump Kris onto the floor, slam the door, and make a break for it.  


Sehun drags Kris over to his bed. “God, you’re obnoxious even when you’re barely conscious.”  


Kris slurs something unintelligible.  


Sehun regards his drunk roommate warily. “Barf on my stuff and you’re dead.”  


“I already did that.” Kris grunts. He staggers away from Sehun and manages to flop down onto Sehun’s bed. “Mmm, it’s soft.”  


“Get the fuck off my bed.” Sehun snaps. “Just because you’re drunk off your ass does not mean you get to sit on my bed.”  


“Sehun,” Kris whines. “Why you gotta be so mean?”  


“Because I was born this way.” Sehun huffs.  


“Sehun. C’mere, Sehun.”  


Sehun decides to humor Kris for a few more seconds before he forcibly rolls the giant idiot off of his bed. He leans down to Kris’s level.  


“Sehun,” Kris whispers huskily. “I want to fuck you.”  


“How about no?”  


Kris pouts in an almost adorable way. “Pleaassseeee, Sehunnie.”  


“Why don’t you fuck yourself instead?”  


Too bad for Sehun, Drunk Kris is stronger than Sober Kris and Sehun ends up on top of Kris. Kris’s mouth tastes like alcohol and Sehun finds himself turning away and gagging. Sober Kris is pretty gross as is, Drunk Kris is worse. Luckily, Drunk Kris doesn’t know how to work buttons or zippers so he ends up flopping around on top of Sehun, grunting and moaning incoherently. Sehun just sighs as Kris starts blubbering.  


“Why don’t you love me, Sehunnie? Why don’t you love me?” Kris wails.  


“Because you can’t keep it up.” Sehun mutters.  


Their evening ends with Kris unceremoniously ejaculating down the front of his jeans and falling dead asleep on top of Sehun.  


“Motherfucker…” Sehun groans. “On my goddamn bed too…” He manages to escape Kris and sleeps on Kris’s clean bed while Kris snores and drools across the room.  


Kris wakes up with a pounding headache, crusty jeans, and little to no memory. To top it off, he’s in Sehun’s bed and the owner of it is glaring down at him.  


“Morning, asshole. Get out of my bed. I need to wash my sheets thanks to you.”  


“What did I do last night?” Kris groans.  


“You got rip roaring drunk and then you came here, asked if you could fuck me, then proceeded to flop around and jizz your pants and fall asleep.” Sehun says monotonously.  


“Can we just forget about this?” Kris winces.  


“I don’t think so… Ben-Ben.” Sehun flashes a shit-eating grin.  


“ZHANG YIXING!”


	2. The Hangover (Part 1)

For the second time in probably less than twenty-four hours, Kris was stumbling into class late, concealing his bloodshot eyes with sunglasses, and really needing to vomit. 

Again, he wrote “murder Zhang Yixing” in his planner before ducking beneath the table to rub BB cream on his face. He almost screamed when he found a pimple above his lip. Yes, Zhang Yixing was going to meet his maker today.  


Kris wasn’t sure what the worst was: the position he found himself in this morning, the fact that Suho and Yixing had planned it, or that Sehun was dangling his embarrassing childhood nickname in front of his face.  


“Zhang Yixing. Is nothing sacred?” Kris hissed as he tripped over his feet and near face planted in Suho’s salad.  


“No idea what you mean, Ben-Ben.” Yixing drawled.  


“THAT!” Kris screamed. “What happened in China should stay in China!”  


“It’s okay, Ben-Ben. People don’t even know what it means.”  


“What does it mean?” Suho asked.  


Yixing opened his mouth to respond when Kris smashed Suho’s salad plate into Yixing’s face.  


“Hey! I told you to keep my lunch out of your homicidal schemes!” Suho groaned.  


“You will pay for telling my roommate about that name!” Kris shoved a carrot stick up Yixing’s nose. “You will pay through the nose; you will pay through the nose!”  


“Gross! You owe me a new salad, Ben-Ben!” Suho whined.  


“Mother of God, not you too!”  


Kris was becoming more and more certain that attracting assholes was a specialty. He was also starting to consider duct-taping Sehun’s mouth shut for the rest of the semester and then applying to move to another dorm. If he heard that lispy brat say “Ben-Ben” one more time…  


“Kris!” Yixing whined. “Quit ignoring me! I said I was sorry. Can’t you accept that? All I can smell is carrot thanks to you!”  


“It’s good for your skin.” Kris snapped. “Quit complaining.”  


“I’m the one you owe apologies to.” Suho protested. “I had to buy two salads because you’re both immature pigs.”  


“Forgive me, Kris.” Yixing pouted. Kris turned his nose up. Yixing glared. “I’ll reveal more of your secrets.”  


“Don’t you dare.”  


Yixing turned to Suho and raised his voice. “Once when we were in high school Kris bought a stuffed alpaca and named it Ace and pretended it was real. He even went to the pet store and bought real food to pretend feed it.”  


“Zhang. Yixing.”  


“And when I accidentally nudged it with my toe, Kris started screaming that I was an alpaca killer and that I would get arrested for alpaca abuse. Then he started crying over his ‘dead’ alpaca.”  


“Wanna die?”  


“But the next day he said Ace was still alive because they rushed him to the alpaca intensive care and Ace got all the necessary alpaca saving surgeries he needed to continue his life as a healthy _stuffed_ animal.”  


“I’ll count to three…”  


“Just be glad I didn’t tell Sehun about that, Ben-Ben.”  


Suho was forced to attempt to pull an Angry-and-Hungover Kris off of a much smaller, weaker Yixing. Kris was blabbering about suing for slander while Yixing nursed a bloody lip.  


“Dude, I could sue you for assault!” Yixing said through a mouthful of blood.  


“You started it!”  


Suho covered his ears. “Oh Jesus, not again.”  


“You’re my roommate. You should take my side!”  


“He’s my therapist. He should take my side!”  


“I hate you both! I’m going to go take a bubble bath.” Suho stomped away with Yixing trailing behind.  


Kris crawled back to his dorm room. Surprise, surprise, Sehun was still being a brat. Kris threw himself down on his bed and groaned. All he wanted to do was sleep for at least ten hours, maybe get up to take a shower, and then sleep a little longer.  


Of course Sehun the Shit wouldn’t allow that. “How’s your hangover, Ben-Ben?”  


“Call me that one more time…” Kris’s growl was muffled by the pillow.  


“Speak up, Ben-Ben. I didn’t quite catch that, Ben-Ben.”  


“Lisp in my general direction one more time…”  


Sehun smirked. Kris wanted to punch that smirk off of Sehun’s goddamn face. “I still can’t hear you, _Ben-Ben_.”  


Kris launched himself across the room and caged Sehun against the wall with his long arms. “I warned you.” He growled. “Stop with the Ben-Ben.”  


“Yixing never explained how you got that nickname. Tell me.”  


“No. Over my dead body.”  


“Is that an invitation to kill you?” Sehun’s lips twitched into a little smirk.  


“No.”  


“Why you gotta be so mean, Ben-Ben?” Sehun purred. “You were a lot friendlier last night.”  


“Are you trying to seduce me, Oh Sehun?”  


“Ugh, gross. I forgot about the part where you failed to bone me and then jizzed yourself.”  


“You aren’t going to let me forget about that, are you?”  


“Over my dead body.”  


Kris bit his tongue. “If I told you what it meant, will you forget about everything?”  


Sehun pondered this. “Tell me.”  


Kris bent down and put his lips level with Sehun’s ear. “It means nothing. Yixing was high.”  


Sehun kicked Kris in the crotch. “You’re so full of shit.” He told the wheezing man. “I’m going to go and ask Yixing.”  


Kris hobbled down to the quad where he found Yixing and Suho sitting on one of the benches. “If you say one more word about what happened in China I’m going to flog you with a textbook, alright?”  


“What happened?”  


“Sehun is a shit. What else is new?”  


“Ben-Ben!” Sehun crowed from across the quad.  


“Fuck! I’ve never seen that brat out in sunlight before. I’m going to have an aneurism.” Kris groaned.  


“Oh Yixing, I was looking for you. Kris is being a tad bit difficult. I was wondering if you could tell me what the origins of Ben-Ben were.” Sehun smiled serenely at Yixing.  


Kris mouthed the words ‘death by textbook’ at Yixing menacingly. Yixing ignored him. “Well, when we were kids Kris was clumsy as fuck.”  


Kris slammed his head against a nearby tree.  


“Like, he was always dropping stuff and tripping over himself. When we played basketball he would trip over his feet and then hit his face against the ball. Ben-Ben means dumb-dumb or clumsy one. Whichever you prefer. The whole neighborhood knew him as Ben-Ben. People forgot his name was Yifan and just called him Ben-Ben. That’s why he’s so embarrassed.”  


“I hate you. Just wait, Yixing, just wait. You’re going to die slowly and painfully.”  


Yixing pats Kris’s shoulder. “Don’t stress, Ben-Ben. It’s bad for your health.”  


“No, _you’re_ bad for my health, you stupid unicorn.”  


“I resent that.”  


“Well if you weren’t such a shit…”  


“I happen to be a fabulous, majestic unicorn.”  


“Why the fuck are we friends?”  


“Because I have more dirt on you.”  


“Hey, Xing. Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you had no tongue?”  


“Um, no.”  


“Well you’re going to find out very soon if you don’t shut your mouth.”  


“Can we stop the catfight, ladies?” Suho sighed, rubbing his temples.  


Yixing and Kris turned to glare at Suho who shrugged. Sehun snickered into his palm.  


“Dead.” Kris repeated. “Dead. You’re all dead.”  


“I’m still breathing.” Sehun said.  


“Not for long…”


	3. The Hangover (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There be awkward sex in this chapter.

When they returned to the room, Kris threw Sehun onto his bed.  


Sehun hit the feathery mattress with an ‘oof.’  


Kris climbs on top of Sehun, making the smaller man’s eyes widen. “I’m sober now. I’m going to fuck you so hard.”  


“You’re hungover,” Sehun corrects. “And if you put your dick anywhere near me I’ll rip it off and feed it to the fish they keep in the biology lab.”  


Kris almost pauses at this threat. He’s seen Sehun’s biceps… and damn, the boy may be scrawny but he _lifts_. “Those fish don’t eat meat.”  


“They keep piranhas next to the greenhouse.”  


Well shit. Kris pauses to weigh his options. Too bad Sehun has good reflexes and his knee connects with Kris’s groin. Kris keens with a loud grunt and rolls over, clutching his injured crotch.  


“I am going to ensure there will be no little Ben-Ben’s running around and fucking shit up. No offense, but you’re already a pain in the ass. The thought of you breeding is horrific.”  


“I’m going to be a pain in your ass.” Kris wheezes.  


Sehun pats Kris’s cheek with mock affection. “I’d like to see you try.”  


Kris stumbles over to Yixing’s where, lo and behold, Sehun has nested beside Suho.  


“Get out,” he growls at his roommate as he flops down beside Yixing.  


“I’m allowed to be here too.” Sehun tells him haughtily.  


Suho rolls his eyes. “Can you two just fuck each other already? The sexual tension and testosterone is stinking up the room.”  


“But do yourself a favor Sehun and be in charge. Kris sucks in bed.” Yixing says.  


Three pairs of eyes gape at Yixing.  


“Fucking Xing. Say one word and I will _hurt_ you.”  


Yixing ignores his friend and continues. “Kris has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it.”  


“How do you know?” Suho asks.  


Yixing pats Kris’s head. “Worst sex of my life.”  


“We were fifteen and drunk!” Kris whines. “And virgins!”  


“You still sucked.”  


Sehun is smothering his hysterical laughter in Suho’s pillow. Suho is also trying to suppress a few laughs himself. Kris glares at them both, which unleashes Suho’s laughter. He and Sehun smack each other as they howl.  


“Yeah,” Kris growls. “Keep laughing. You won’t be laughing for long.”  


Sehun and Kris walk back to their dorm. Sehun is still fighting giggles and Kris is still glowering about the whole situation. “I’m going to shut you up when we get back.”  


“I’d like to see you try that.”  


“I’m not a drunk, fifteen year old virgin anymore, Oh Sehun.”  


“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump up on that dick and do a full split.”  


Kris trips over his own feet and gawks at Sehun, who stares at him with a disgusted grimace on his face. “Oh my fucking god…. _EEEWWWWW_! Seriously, stop imagining me doing that! You’re such a pervert! Wipe the drool off your face.”  


Kris wipes at his mouth and indeed finds drool accumulating at the corner of his mouth. Sehun is walking a good three feet ahead of him now, throwing furtive glances over his shoulder. There’s still disgust written all over Sehun’s face, and Kris really wants to see how flexible the dancer is.  


As soon as the door closes behind them, Kris is throwing Sehun back on the bed. The shorter one sighs deeply. “If Yixing is right, and you suck, I’m going to tell everyone how bad you were.”  


“I’m not a drunk, fifteen year old virgin anymore,” Kris repeats, long fingers fumbling over Sehun’s zipper.  


Sehun slaps his hands away. “You aren’t even drunk! Do you know how to work zippers?” He shimmies out of his pants, revealing pasty white legs that Kris thinks have probably never seen sunlight.  


“Stop staring, pervert.”  


“Sehun, we are about to have sex. How are we supposed to do that if I can’t stare at you?”  


“Well, I could put a bag over your head and pretend you’re someone who’s actually attractive.”  


Kris’s jaw drops. “What the fuck, Sehun? That was mean.”  


Sehun rolls his eyes. “Did you forget who you were trying to do? I’m Oh fucking Sehun, you butt pirate. Take your pants off before I get bored.”  


Kris mumbles something unflattering before stripping down. Sehun yanks his shirt off, revealing more white skin. “Do you ever go outside? You’re paler than a Tumblr user.”  


Sehun sighs. “Don’t hate, appreciate. You on the other hand, need to find out the meaning of sunscreen.” He gestures to Kris’s arms. “I know you play… badminton… or something like that, but farmer’s tans are really out.”  


“Basketball. I play basketball.”  


“Pity. If you played baseball I’d have a lewd joke to crack.”  


Kris rolled his eyes. “Let’s get on with this, shall we?”  


“So fucking impatient,” Sehun huffs.  


“I’m going to shut you up.” Kris says.  


“Good luck with that. Oh Sehun is silent for no one.” Sehun grimaced again. “No, this is not about to be a bad porn where I scream every time you touch me. Mind out of the gutter, please.”  


“Sehun. What part of ‘we’re about to have sex’ is not clear here…”  


“Kris. Shut the fuck up before I turn this into a murder.”  


Kris is left grumbling again as he hovers over Sehun, who raises an eyebrow. “Lube?” He demands. “Condom? What do you think this is?”  


“Calm yo tits,” Kris huffs, reaching into his bedside table. “Here, you prissy princess.”  


“This prissy princess thinks he ought to top you.” Sehun says, smirking.  


“No. Never. Fuck that shit.” Because Kris does not ever want to bottom. Because the one time it happened it hurt like a bitch and he does not want to relive that. All he wanted was to learn how to find the exterior angles of a fucking hexagon when the tutor bent him over a desk. Kris cries at the memory. He couldn’t walk straight for a week and Yixing was merciless with his teasing.  


Sehun rolls his eyes. Kris hopes his eyes will get stuck like that… “You calm yo tits. I’m just following Yixing’s advice.”  


“Yixing did not say to top me.”  


“He said to take control.”  


“Different things.”  


Sehun rolls his eyes. Kris thinks they must do that on their own accord. “Just hurry it up.”  


Kris tears open the condom and rolls it on. He fumbles with the lube cap which Sehun snatches from his fingers. He coats his fingers and slides them in. Kris’s eyes widen as he watches Sehun’s blank face flush pink as he worries his bottom lip. “Quit drooling, Kris.” Sehun pants. “And get over here.”  


Kris’s hips magnetize towards Sehun. Sehun rubs lube all over Kris’s dick and he whines in a strange high-pitched voice. He pushes Kris onto his back. “I’m going to ride you.” Sehun announces as he positions himself above Kris. Kris squeezes his eyes shut as Sehun starts sheathing himself. They groan together and when Kris opens his eyes he can see the dancer’s muscles in Sehun’s pasty thighs working. The sight makes him literally drool and let out another high-pitched moan.  


Sehun lifts himself up and slams himself back down, knocking the wind out of both of them. Kris’s hands fly to Sehun’s bony hips. Sehun keeps bouncing on him, and Kris thinks he’s disturbed the whole dorm with his shrieking. Sehun makes a fair amount of noise, but his voice drops down into a sultry base that sends tingles down Kris’s spine, while Kris’s voice reaches high notes he could never hit naturally. He’s thrusting in time with Sehun’s plies and he notices that Sehun’s legs are sliding farther apart. He’s doing a split and Kris rocks his hips up at that sight.  


“Don’t be a perv,” Sehun grinds out between his teeth. He rocks his hips down again cutting any of Kris’s retorts off with a noisy squeal.  


Kris can feel him getting closer and closer. Sehun’s chest is red and blotchy, his jaw is slack. Kris thinks Sehun looks fucking sexy like that and his hips stutter. “I’m not going to last much longer.” Kris grunts.  


“Me neither.” Sehun replies.  


Kris digs his fingers into Sehun’s sides and the smaller man comes with a low growl. Kris snaps his hips up into Sehun and releases with a loud, high wail. Sehun collapses on top of him. Kris eases their bodies beside one another. He ruffles Sehun’s sweaty bangs.  


“Yeah, Yixing was wrong about you.”  


“I told you.” Kris huffs.  


A loud banging on their wall slices through their cuddly haze. It’s Luhan, the med-student from next door. “PIPE THE FUCK DOWN!” he shrieks.  


“You’re jealous!” Kris shouts back.  


Sehun laughs.  


Kris wakes up sticky. He looks over to see a sticky Sehun glowering at something on his desk.  


“What’s that?” Kris asks.  


“Yixing and Suho sent that.” Sehun says venomously, pointing at the object of his intense loathing.  


Kris props himself up and looks over. On the desk is a cake that reads: “CONGRATS ON THE SEX” in huge letters. Kris groans. “After a shower, and after we eat that, let’s go torture those two.”  


“I like that idea.”  


Kris thinks the rest of the semester is going to go by smoothly.


End file.
